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Quit Like A Woman – Book Notes

Quit like a woman notes
Alcoholics Anonymous echoes the lie big alcohol wants you to believe the problem is not the drug the problem is the people who can’t use the drug 62

The attention was no longer focused on the drug but on the people who used it incorrectly 63

Hear the alcohol a mystery and the recovery industry converge settling on the inherently eugenic believe that our search humans are to blame for the alcoholism not the toxic substances marketed to them in ways that subvert their rational thinking 64

I am all of a sudden acutely aware of how entirely pointless it is that we drink 71

Alcoholism was a word that invited other people to use me as their own personal navigation system 77

To be clear I believe that alcohol is addictive, that alcohol addiction is progressive, that some people are wired a bit differently and are more vulnerable to alcohol addiction. in fact I don’t just believe these things science tells me these things. I’m not refuting that alcohol addiction is an actual thing because it is an actual thing – I thing I had. What I am saying is alcohol is addictive to everyone. 79

The label alcoholic and the disease alcoholism keep us focused on a construct and distract us from the real problem at hand which is our cultural an individual relationship with alcohol and addiction. 80

We’ve systemically labeled anyone who can’t hang as having the problem and washed our national hands of any responsibility. 80

With every single other kind of drug use and addiction we blame the drug to the point of prosecuting individuals for trafficking distributing and possessing them even though drugs account for less than 14% of the deaths caused by alcohol. When it comes to alcohol, however, we blame the people, which means the alcohol industry doesn’t just profit from our death, it gets away with it as an innocent bystander. The industry has absolutely no liability, because how could it possibly be accountable to a disease that some people just have? 86

we are conditioned to believe it’s normal to imbibe, abnormal to abstain, and because of this, we are not conditioned to ask the most reasonable questions of all: is alcohol getting in the way of my happiness, my life, my self-esteem? Is it getting in the way of my dreams, or maybe just not working for me? 90

Addiction must not be limited to alcohol and drugs but must encompass the wider set of behaviors habits chemicals and pursuits that can come to dominate an individual’s world. 93

What help me understand addiction and how I came to be in snared was first realizing that we all suffer some degree of addiction. While not all of us to give our lives over to it as much as I did, or get tangled up in chemical addiction’s, the fact remains that all humans suffer, I’ll look outside themselves to manage that suffering, and I’ll get stuck in feedback loops that run through the same wiring in our brain that alcohol addiction runs through. 98

When dopamine floods into the brain, it sends a signal that the activity is good for survival, and in order to make sure we repeat the behavior, our brain releases another neurochemical called glutamate to lock in the memory of the event, so we are wired to do it again. 101

The fundamental and first message of Alcoholics Anonymous to its members is that they are not infinite, not absolute, not God. Every alcoholic problem had first been, according to this insight, claiming Godlike powers, especially that of control. 110

There was something wrong with me; there was nothing wrong with the program. 113

The very fact that I wasn’t calling myself an alcoholic and was doing it on my own opened up a vault of doubt I hadn’t known existed until that moment, and I was all the sudden very aware of our societal pact that says people who can’t drink are inherently ego inflated, prone to fooling themselves, and not to be trusted. 115

It makes sense that a woman might entirely refuse a program and asked her to give up some thing she’s not only never had, but was finally just grasping: a sense of self, a voice, a sense of our own desires, freedom in a world not made for her. 118

Alcoholics Anonymous is in a spiritual religious tradition, but it was conceived from one. It was a born of the framework that is foundational to every single dominant religion in spiritual practice, the framework meant to break down male privilege into spiritual purity. 119

We drink not because we have too much power but because we have so little. 120

Are masculine aspect tends towards achievement, accomplishment, doing, driving, forcing. It is a top down energy that is focused and goal oriented. 124

A feminine centric recovery paradigm assumes that you are already hole in perfect; it is not you who is broken but the system; you are the expert on your own life, and therefore you make the template, and you make the rules. 131

Existing within a patriarchal system means we’ve constantly equated are processing with the masculine; we are conditioned to think in a goal oriented, linear way and approach most things as projects, as task to be completed. 132

The paradigm isn’t solely about abstinence; it’s about finding the lives we’ve got buried within us, and living those lives out loud. This is about finding the truest version of ourselves and letting that lead the way. 133

Pena Chodron Says we have to learn to be both big and small at the same time. Big, as in we are worthy because we exist. Small, as we exist to serve humanity. 140